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On a practical level, desperation hurts you in a multitude of ways.You’re less likely to meet someone you would consider you will be turned off when they realize that any warm body will do and still more will assume that there must be a reason why you’ve been refused so often.Similarly, it’s inadvisable for an introverted person to try to force themselves to act like an extrovert, especially in the dating scene.It’s incongruent with who they are; they’re quite literally pretending to be someone they’re not in hopes of better results.Your negative attitude will seep into Breaking negativity can be difficult; it takes time and effort to willfully decide to take a positive attitude and belief and stick to it. Just ask yourself: would you rather a world where everything confirms your worst fears or your fondest fantasies?There’s a reason why “just be yourself” is one of the most annoyingly useless advice cliches out there.If, for example, you believe that only “alpha” – for a suitably mistaken definition of “alpha” men get women, then that will be part of your reality.Not because it’s notice or pay heed to that which confirms your pre-existing belief.
Not everybody is cut out for traditional monogamy, for polyamory, for kink, for vanilla sex…
I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize…
The longer this goes on, the more you’re becoming convinced more than ever that this whole dating/sex/talking to other people thing is something that do and you’d be better off weighing the pros and cons of a monastic life of quiet desperation and a poetic death via alcoholism interspersed with self-pitying and slightly arch animated gif parades on Tumblr or women being bitches or any number of other things I told myself to explain my failures away.
but that doesn’t stop them from trying to force themselves into the model because they Trying to fit into a personality type that’s so diametrically opposed from our real self is like trying to force yourself into shoes that don’t fit; you’re uncomfortable at best and the potential benefits are vastly outweighed by downsides.
When you’re trying to build the life you’ve always dreamed of, you need to do so in a way that’s harmonious with who you , not for who you think you’re should be.
Nowhere was this more apparent than in the early days of the Pick Up community, when people assumed that one of the secrets of success with meeting women is to “peacock”; that is, dress up in exotic or even outlandish ways in order to get attention.